Nothing gets a moms heart racing faster than the phrase, "the other moms are...." In a split second, a woman’s brain can completely spaz out…." The other moms are what? Cooking meals and not crabbing about it? Helping with homework without gritting their teeth? Showing up early for the class party? Successfully keeping their daughters from wearing butt-hugging leggings? What? What are the other moms doing that I’m not!!?”
In a case this winter, they were getting their act together to send Valentines Day cards to their teenage sons who were away together during the holiday weekend. I’m pretty sure my kid could care less whether I sent a card or not, but I'm sure as heck wasn't going to say no. What better motivation than “the other moms are…!” I’strangely motivated to send a home baked cake out there as well. Who knew silent fear of being the "less-than" mother could be such a strong incentive?
A couple friends and I are starting a “just say no to sweets” club. We’re texting each other daily inspiration to encourage abstinence from chocolate and other exciting goodies. I think we should change our tactic from a team-building message to a more simple, stress-inducing approach like “the other moms are not eating cake today…how about you?” I think it could work. Who says shame and guilt are dead?
Dealing with your own shame and guilt? Or know someone who is? I offer a free get out of jail without judgment card. Book an appointment online and find a better motivator than shame and guilt -- though shame and guilt are pretty darn hard to beat.
Debbie Granick is a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner and a Therapist in Raleigh providing both counseling and medication to reduce anxiety and depression and improve mental health. She is available to speak about wellness to groups of all sizes.